Thursday, June 21, 2007

Diana & the City

“Joe, what are you planning to do today?”

The phone call was a setup. It was a ploy. Far too calculated.

Had she wanted to casually hang out, Diana would have walked out of her mother’s house, cross the street, through my doorway unannounced, and plopped herself onto the couch. It was just that easy for her. A phone call required the effort—that was the first hint.

“Uh, nothing I guess. Why, what’s up?” I knew what was up, but gave the courtesy of a reply.

“Want to come into the city with me today?”

Rephrase that. That simple sentence revealed our entire plans for the afternoon. In Diane-speak, “Wanna come into the city,” translates into, “can you come into the city to help me run a few errands which may require heavy lifting.”

“Uh…” It was too far into the conversation to conveniently back out.

“Good. You can help me move a few things out of my New York City apartment, and then we can stop by Jody’s restaurant for lunch. My treat.”

I could have said no. I could have given her some lame excuse. Hell, I could have even hung up the phone, and then follow up with the lame excuse. But, the truth was she asked. I acknowledged. And that was that.

Besides, I wanted to be out of the house. New York seemed like a good way to get out.

Also Diana was quirky. I like quirky. She was the converse-wearing, retro-bike-collecting, Vespa-driving, lesbian-next-door. And I was her granola-crunching, guitar-struming, MacBook-toting friend. But somehow, we got along like bananas and peanut butter. She made for good company.

So, how could I argue? Even if it meant being waylaid by a phone call now and again.

And again.

And…

To be honest, I really wanted to go… even with the prospect of manual labor. As if the lure of the West Village wasn’t enough, Diana promised to take me to her girlfriend’s restaurant where Jodi was head chef. It was a beautiful day in mid-June, and nothing could beat sipping cherry-lemonade and vodka mixed drinks out on the sidewalk.

Fifty minutes and a “small errand” later and we were sailing up the Jersey Turnpike in a beat-up Ford pickup with two leather chairs strapped to the back. Windows down, radio blaring the traffic report, with Newark’s skyline shrinking into the distance. We were approaching the Lincoln Tunnel in record time.

There is something intoxicating about the Lower Manhattan skyline. The city looms over the Hudson, over Jersey City, erect with so much steel, glass, and concrete. A silhouette of contemporary architecture. To think, that someone dreamed and dared to build blocks upon blocks of skyscrapers. Millions of people stacked, in cubic foot upon cubic foot of lower Manhattan office-space, like a Lego creation… of epic proportions.

But to enter the city via the tunnel— to travel those soot-covered, fluorescent light metered tubes—is to emerge from beneath the island, thrust into the midst of the city. To be crushed under the density of shadows cast by buildings taller than the sun. Everything in New York is on a grand scale. The mobs of people. The restaurants and bars. The business and arts. It’s so easy to feel diminutive, lost in the enormity of all that is NYC.

The chores were minimal. Drop off this. Pick up that. In less time than it took to drive into the city, we were on our way to lunch. Ahhh, lunch.

June 21st- the summer solstice. And there we were on a Thursday afternoon, sucking down cherry-lemonade and vodka out of a tall glass. Fresh bread and olive oil. Chef Jodi came out from the kitchen and joined us for some appetizers: insalata di spinaci (goat cheese, pine nuts & raisins), fave e pecorino (escarole, fava beans, pecorino, mint & basil), and cacio e pepe (bucatini with pecorino & black pepper). We ordered a main course, dessert, and then Itallian coffee.

The food. The conversation. Watching the midday life of the West Village ebb and flow. The largeness of the moment. This was a great start to the summer.


Sunday, June 17, 2007

The Death Cat


Cats murderer!
Originally uploaded by salgada.

Butterball didn’t look her normal self. First of all, that old Himalayan-mix never ever grooms herself. If it weren’t for my constant attempts to brush that old cat, she would completely mat over. She barely stirs, much less sit up, in that old wicker basket we lined with bedding. So when she jolted and began frantically licking herself, I knew something was wrong.

My first reaction was disbelief. “Hey, does Butterball look sick?” I asked my wife. As f on cue, Butterball started choking on her tongue. She began to drool—thick, foaming blood ran down her maw. It had the appearance and consistency of regurgitated strawberries. The tongue lashed out, left and right, sloshing the blood-saliva mixture down her dirty-grey chest.

Yeah- you could say something was very wrong!

And then Butterball meowed. It was a meager sound that struggled to produce itself from the tip of the tongue, and instead reverberated deep within her throat. She coughed up another spat of blood.

I ran to the kitchen for a paper towel… wet nap… something… anything to sop up the blood. My sudden movement triggered Butterball like a stretched rubber band moments before it snaps. The sound of my bare heel on the hard wooden floors gave signal, and she was off for a position under the kitchen table. I bumbled toward the cat. The cat ambled out of my reach. It was a dangerous prospect to corner an injured animal, especially a stray cat with a feral attitude.

My wife and I talked it over.

Butterball is fairly advanced in years. How old? We can’t say. She as a full adult when we took her into our house seven years ago. We couldn’t reverse the disease, but at least we could make her remaining time on earth as comfortable as possible. Instead, we opted for the less costly painkillers and antibiotics.

We’ll leave the rest to be decided by nature.

Amfibian CD Release Party



Tom Marshall possesses enough jamband celebrity to surround himself with accomplished musicians. As the former lyricist for the now-defunct band Phish, Marshall possesses enough celebrity to surround himself with accomplished musicians. As the former lyricist for the now-defunct band Phish, Marshall is the front man for his own band—Amfibian. But to relegate his current project as a Phish spin-of would underscore his talent for lyrics and song craft.

Last night Marshall and company threw a CD release party at the Philly-posh WXPB lounge. Gone are the days of college-age, patchouli-dank, dreadie kids of the jamband scene long since past. Amfibian draws a much more refined crowd—suburban hipster socialites. No doubt, as Marshall drew friends and family from the Princeton area.

This guy has enough talent to make it on the local scene (not to mention his backing band rocks). Amfibian puts on an entertaining show. The setlist was an equal mix of 1/3 original tunes, 1/3 Phish covers, and another 1/3 recognizable classic songs. From straight rock, to an acoustic set, Amfibian delivered on the party-vibe.

This is a local band (with a national reputation) that is worth catching live.


Sunday, June 10, 2007

The Fountain



They say not to judge a book by its cover. So cliché.

You can’t always expect to go on reviews and recommendations alone. Sometimes it’s worth the gamble to make a selection based on some random factor, such as the cover graphics, a catchy title, or the summary on the back cover, some unmentionable thing that catches the eye’s attention. Some of my favorite books, movies, and CD’s were discovered based on the shallow judgment of cover alone.

The Fountain” was my latest find.

It’s probably all for the better that I didn’t see the trailer or read a plot summary ahead of time. Based on the complexity of the plot (in fact, three plots that are inextricably connected), any attempt at a synopsis would only lead one astray. Words alone don’t do this movie justice. Thus, there is no better way to decribe the movie than to see it for yourself.

But, be warned—this is not an entertaining movie. Definitely not for the passive viewer. I felt hopelessly lost, as in Eraserhead-hopelessly-lost, in the first fifteen minutes of the film. In fact, I gave up. Defeated. But hey, anything is worth a second try. And lucky that I did. With some patience and persistence I made it far enough into the film that

With some luck a little patience I managed to view The Fountain in its entirety. Thank God that I did.

The movie weaves three plots—a conquistador searching for the Fountain of Youth; a doctor struggling to find a cure for cancer in time to save his terminally-ill wife; and a spiritual journey—into an epic story about mortality. The three stories are inextricably connected, intertwined, a palimpsest of the other two plots.

A majority of the story is narrated through cinematography and visual metaphor. Don’t expect Darren Aronofsky, the playwright and director, to come straight out with the meaning of life. The last fifteen minutes of the film is a dazzling display that offers a glimpse into the afterlife for those that are willing to interpret the final sequence of images for themselves.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Battle of Bordentown


Battle of Bordentown Patriots
Originally uploaded by esthergirl.

Never have I seen so many pony-tailed men and women wearing homemade outfits, camping in a field since my last Phish concert. And perhaps there might not be a better way to describe the “phandom” of colonial actors.

To help celebrate the 325th anniversary of historical Bordentown City, hoards of colonial-heads set up camp on the Divine Word Missionary campus to reenact the Battle of Bordentown. Apparently Mercer County has several of these events around the year (Washington’s Crossing being the most notable). But consider it cool that this battle was staged within walking distance of my house.

I could smell burn gunpowder and campfire just outside my door.

Call it living history. Each actor was dressed in authentic garb, eating authentic grub, and appropriately grouped. Yeah- imagine wearing a wool jacket on a June afternoon. The “lobster-backs” (Brits) held down one side of camp, while the colonists were staged at the other end. German and French forces were also present. Each and every colonial actor could roll off tomes of historical knowledge off the top of their head, and were more than happy to answer every bystander’s question.

Of course if you wanted in on the action, you could buy authentic-looking reproductions: clothing, weaponry, bedding, and colonial currency. Everything but food was for sale (colonial cooking craft doesn’t mesh with contemporary FDAA regulations). Like any other tourist trap, "shakedown" street was conveniently situated near the exit/entrance. Some of the vendors appeared to be well stocked. It wouldn't surprise me if some of them follow a summer tour of reenactments, venue after venue, selling their wares. But hey, I have no beef with cashing in on colonialism, especially considering the event was free to the public.

The battle reenactment itself was somewhat lame. From my point of view, a group of guys stood in a field for 30 minutes shooting off cap guns and cannons. My complaint isn't that real amunition wasn't used. Don’t get me wrong, dodging musket pellets would add a certain dramatic and realistic appeal (although somewhat gory). My beef was that no one feigned death throughout the battle. They aimed their weaponry at one another for 30-minutes and no one fell. Bleh. Call that unconvincing.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Phished, Hacked, and Otherwise Pissed Off

I prefer not to use four letter words in my day-to-day language. Uhh, but I’m at a loss for words at the moment. There really is no other way for me to express this…

Fucker.

That’s about all I have to say about the hacker that gained access of my eBay account to set up scam auctions.

Hell if I knew exactly how my account was breached. I know better to respond to phishing emails, and my password is crazy random. And I thought that I had so much tech awareness. I guess that’s to say that if could happen to me....

To their credit, I was immediately contacted by eBay regarding the infiltration and scam auctions.
We have ended the following listing(s) on your account as they appear to have been listed by a third party without your authorization:

190121219747 The West Wing All 7 Seasons DVD Set 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
190121219976 Sex and the City Gift Collection (2005, DVD)
190121220414 The O.C. - The Complete Seasons 1-3 (2006, DVD)
190121220882 NEW JAMES BOND 007 ULTIMATE EDITIONS 1-2-3-4 Boxed Set
190121221260 *24 hour * The Complete Seasons 1 2 3 4 5
190121221646 Friends - The Complete Seasons 1-9 (2005, DVD)
190121222034 The Sopranos - The Complete First, Second, and Third...
190121222648 Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The Chosen Collection (20...
190121223067 Everybody Loves Raymond: The Complete Seasons 1-8 (2...
190121223503 Full House - The Complete Seasons 1-2 (2005, DVD)
190121223992 M*A*S*H - Martinis and Medicine Collection (2006, DVD)
190121224496 Star Trek: Enterprise - The Complete Series (2005, DVD)
190121225939 Gilmore Girls: The Complete Seasons 1-5 (2005, DVD)
190121226402 Seinfeld - The Complete Eighth Season (2007, DVD)
My account was immediately suspended so the hacker couldn’t further damage my eBay credibility or financial standing. Think about that- someone hijacked MY identity, attempted to commit Internet fraud in MY name, leaving ME to pick up the broken pieces.

Yeah, thank YOU Fucker.

eBay immediately followed their initial contact with another email. This time they detailed the steps they had taken and detailed what I should do next.
Do not respond to this email, as your reply will not be received. You will be sent a separate notice detailing the action taken. Please refer to that notice for additional information related to this action, including steps you can take to restore access to your eBay account.

Thank you for your patience in this matter.

Regards,

Customer Support (Trust and Safety Department)


Due to recent activity, including possible unauthorized listings, we have temporarily suspended activity on your account in order to allow us to investigate this matter further. If you believe that this action may have been taken in error, or, if you feel that your account may have been tampered with, please contact our Live Help team so that we can provide additional information and work with you to resolve this issue.

You can reach the Account Theft Live Help team by taking the following steps:

- Click on the "Security Center" link at the bottom of most eBay pages.
- Click on the "eBay Account Protection" link in the eBay Marketplace section, within the Online Security Resources box.
- This will take you to the help page entitled Securing Your Account and Reporting Account Theft.
- Scroll down the help page to the section entitled Contacting eBay.
- Click on the "Live help" link.

Once you have clicked on the "Live Help" link, you will be prompted to enter a chat name or email address along with a topic related to your reason for contacting eBay. After you have entered this information, the next available representative will assist you.

In the event that you are unable to contact eBay through Live Help after taking these steps, respond directly to this message to request assistance. We will contact you by email after we have received your response.

Please allow at least 72 hours for an email reply. Emailing us prior to receiving our reply will result in an additional delay. In order to handle your concern as quickly and efficiently as possible, we encourage you to contact us through Live Help if you are able to do so.

If you received this notice and you are not the authorized account holder, please be aware that it is in violation of eBay policy to represent oneself as another eBay user. Such action may also be in violation of local, national, and/or international law. eBay is committed to assist law enforcement with any inquiries related to attempts to misappropriate personal information with the intent to commit fraud or theft. Information will be provided at the request of law enforcement agencies to ensure that perpetrators are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Regards,

Safeharbor Department
eBay In
Interestingly enough, Fucker left me a little memento. Apparently a potential buyer contacted Fucker via my hacked eBay account, asking to verify their credibility as a seller. Fucker replied in a faux earnest tone. Now I know something about their operation.
Dear friend,

www.junyuanexport.com having been in this line for nearly 5 years ,experienced and well operated. .We main supply world famous brands electronice products and some other fashional product.Holding the company principle and spirit "Best Service, Highest Quality, Competitive Price, Timely Delivery", we are developing our business steadily and quickly. We are now having a lot of customers on the world.our company main order or wholesale electronic products ,as well as retail for satisfy the different customer

website: www.junyuanexport.com
email/msn:junyuanexport@hotmail.com
TEL/FAX:86-1083359112
company name:Tian yuan International business trade company
Kudos to eBay for their quick and careful response. Junyuanexport was blocked from finalizing any transactions, and no real damage was done. In the end my account was restored (and password changed). Take this as an example and warning at the same time. Phishing/account hijacking is a very real crime that can happen to anyone.

Oh, and don’t do business with Junyuanexport.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Page, Pizza, & Peace



It was a well-coordinated effort to see Page McConnell in concert play the TLA, Philly. Despite not having heard his new solo album beyond a single release to WXPN, we planned the show on hype alone.

Page’s sincerity in life shines through his lyrics and interactions with the crowd. Although his lyrics seem trite at times, they were heartfelt. He seemed comfortable at the keys, but he didn’t extend beyond a certain comfort zone (when compared against his heyday with Phish). The whole effort would probably be better suited, stripped down, naked: singer-songwriter on stage with only their instrument to hide behind. Something in the way of a solo David Gray performance. Rather, Page was backed by drums, guitar, bass, and keys. Yeah, keyboard backed by a second keyboard.

The whole evening seemed far too “safe”.

Fun, but certainly not memorable. This just goes back to my own perspective that the sum of Phish is so much more than any one of those four musicians can muster in solo careers.

Perhaps the highlight of the evening was grabbing a slice of Peace of Pizza out on the Main Line. Yeah- no joke. This pizzeria is the bee’s knees of gourmet pizza. Don’t be fooled by the Peace of Pizza concession stands inside Citizen’s Bank Park (the Phil’s baseball stadium). Their cheese and pepperoni slices don’t even pale in comparison.

Friends, music, gourmet pizza, and microbrew. Yeah. That's what I call the start of a good summer!




Saturday, June 02, 2007

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the...

Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2: In Shocking 2-D
Talk about an underground cult film…

Sometime my freshman year of college, I joined a B-movie group on campus. Every week someone from the group would rent a B-movie from, which we would view in the college library media center.

My one friend came across “The” movie in a local West Coast Video; captured by the movie’s title, he decided to give the movie a try. As the story goes, he never returned the movie, nor did he ever return to that video rental store. In fact, once that movie traveled back with us to the dorms, it never left the VCR.

We watched the movie every night, sometimes two or three times a night, over the course of two years. The movie was so familiar that everyone that would frequent that dorm room (and there was quite a following) had every line of the movie committed to memory.

That was the legendary room 210 of Caldwell College, NJ.

After a while, the repeated playbacks began to degrade the quality of the VHS tape. We scoured every movie store in the area, but couldn’t locate another copy. Drastic times call for drastic measures. I used my work-study access to the communications studio to create several copies.

Even then, the quality was so shoddy. In fact, the volume was mostly white noise. This was no matter, as we had memorized every line. From that point, we’d watch the film sans volume, and chant the lines back to the video. Then I transferred to Rutgers University, and later my only copy bit the dust.

Years ago I managed to score a copy off eBay for a very reasonable price. At best that video was a fourth or fifth generation VHS copy, just as piss-poor as my worn-down copy. Even as the Internet began to boom, there was no information to be found on the film.

Even today the facts are scarce. All I do know is a Northern New Jersey film fanatic overdubbed Night of the Living Dead with his own soundtrack, in the style of What’s Up Tiger Lily. Most of the humor is based on stereotypes, but the scenarios are so outrageous that the film is gut splitting hilarious.

My latest Google search managed to produce some You Tube clips. Although the movie is not hosted in its entirety, these video clips capture some great scenes. I’m still on a hunt to procure a lossless copy.




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